Searching for relief.

Help im between a rock and a hard place. I'm 57 years old I use to smoke pot and did many drugs when I was young. I gave my life to the Lord and he set me free all addictions. I've been an elder in my church for longer than I can remember. I'm also a Ordained pastor yet I have never pastored a church. Well all that to say I have arthritis with lots of pain. I also have neuropathy in my feet from diabetes and the drug the doctor wants to put me on is lyrica. The side affects from that could kill a guy. And the next thing for pain is a narcotic. Habit forming. So As I find myself working away from family and friends I decided to experiment with pot. Pot is amazing for pain a couple puffs and instantly my neck and other ares of pain are gone. So because it works I've been doing it for about a year. Now that my wife and I are getting to live together again we will have to have that conversation knowing if she can't live with pot in our life then I'll be stuck having to take narcotics. I'm not sure how to have this kind of talk when there has been separation for so long not a very good way to start life again. I've never lied or hide anything from her so that is not an option. What's  a guy suppose to do. 

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